Every day

The last time I wrote on my website was on the 12th of September. I often set myself goals, like posting a blog article every day for a month, only to realize 15 days in that I was 15 days too ambitious. There are many ways to be more realistic about goals. But why is it important to be realistic in the first place?

What I realize is that when I start something, I usually add the phrase “every day” to it. Suddenly, it feels like a mountain of work, and I abandon it quickly. What’s the point of starting if this is going to be permanent? “Permanent” feels boring; it feels like falling into a trap. It leaves no room for revision. And yet, it’s a good way to achieve results. The more consistently you do something, the better you get at it. That’s no secret.

The other day, I came across a video where a guy on a podcast was discussing the tendency to add “every day” behind any activity we start. He explained, “Just take out the phrase ‘every day.’” By doing that, you can focus on the action itself without worrying about how long you’ll keep it up, replace it, or if you’ll stop. If I commit to working out, just doing one workout is a win. But if I say, “I’m going to work out every day,” I’m setting myself up for failure.

I took a step back and thought, “What he just said is interesting.” My whole life, I’ve tried to build processes. I would list several habits I wanted to develop, meticulously noting how regularly I wanted to do each one. Reading? Every day. Working out? All weekdays. Writing? Every day. Journaling? Every day.

Trust me, it never really was the case. The exception might have been journaling. That’s one habit I managed to maintain for a long time, and I still write almost every day. The difference now is that my focus isn’t on writing daily; it’s on cultivating the effort to reflect and get into that mindset before I go to sleep. Some days, that might mean talking aloud and recording myself. Other days, I might count a deep conversation with a friend as a moment to reflect. On some days, I might not need it, and that’s okay.

I feel like removing “every day” from my objectives has helped lower the stakes, making my goals more achievable on a daily basis. I don’t have to pressure myself into doing it just because I said it would be every day.

From my experience, I become more reliable to myself and to others when I’m realistic about my goals. Being realistic boosts my confidence because I know what I can achieve. I become a better planner and achieve more.

It might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes building processes around objectives just for the sake of having some can be counterproductive, less reliable, and even destructive. A lack of realism can create the grounds for deception.

What’s the next best step you can take? I first heard this question from Oprah, and I think it’s brilliant. It shifts your focus from the overwhelming big picture to the most immediate action you can take right now. It encourages you to check in with how you’re feeling and to listen to yourself. Instead of stressing over how much you need to accomplish, ask yourself what the first thing is that you need to do for yourself today. Celebrate each small win and every step forward. So, what’s the next best move you can make?