Thank you for 2024

Reading and writing. Watching and sharing. No matter how much I work on my mindset, I still beat myself up. In 2024, I spent a ridiculous amount of time on social media—watching content, sharing my own, and wrestling with that relentless voice inside my head telling me it was wrong. Wrong to spend so much time on social media. Wrong to let myself get caught in hours of doom scrolling. Wrong to let go and just consume.

Then one Thursday morning, as my weekly-45-minute therapy session was wrapping up, my therapist said something that stopped me in my tracks:
“You say you’re addicted, but think about what the word ‘drug’ means in English. Sure, it can mean something you’re hooked on, but it also means ‘medicine.’ When you go to a drugstore, you’re looking for healing. So, here’s my question for you: When is your social media consumption an addiction, and when is it a way you’re fulfilling a genuine need?”

Boom. That question hit me. Therapy this year has been all about drawing lines, finding truth, and learning to see things in the messy gray instead of the stark black and white.

As 2024 comes to an end, I’m taking stock. There’s so much I’m grateful for—the challenges I’ve overcome, the moments that stretched me, and the wins I never saw coming.

I made it to the European Parliament, helping a Eurodeputy build her social media presence. I got treatment for ankylosing spondylitis, which had been draining my energy for over a year. I signed my first freelance clients after Brussels and finally became financially independent, in control of my time. I was lucky to stay in my cousin’s apartment for a few months before moving back to my old place in Paris.

Modeling took off too. I signed with three agencies within months, lived in Milan for over a month, and even landed the cover of The Louscious thanks to Monsieur Kay. I was featured on Flanelle Magazine’s website and a French calendar sold at Fnac. A trip with the French Handball Federation took me to Berlin and another with the Moby Dick Hotel took me to Corsica, and freelancing brought me to Las Vegas for the Supply Chain and Logistics Expo.

I collaborated with brands like Uriage for their Cicadaily cream campaign and Trade Republic for their influencer campaign around the Mirror card. Every step felt surreal, like proof I’m building something meaningful.

And yet, there’s a part of me that still feels unsatisfied. Nebulous about what I want. And maybe that’s okay.

I crave control. Why? Because it makes me feel secure. Why? Because deep down, I’m not as confident as I want to be. Why? Because I haven’t figured everything out yet. Why? Because sometimes I’m too drained to even try. Why? Because I’ve chosen independence, and with it comes responsibility. Why? Because I want freedom. I want to chase every dream, make it big, be relevant, leave a mark. Why? Because I’m scared of death. Scared of fading into nothingness. Why? Because I want to be loved, recognized, and understood.

I got this idea of digging into the “why” from a Mel Robbins podcast. Podcasts have been a lifeline this year. Living alone in Paris in a dimly lit apartment, I’d throw one on while cooking, and suddenly, my mind felt nourished, my soul less lonely. Those voices in my ears reminded me that I’m not alone in figuring this all out.

But not all my habits were healthy. Sometimes I’d come home and spiral—answering Instagram comments, scrolling DMs, swiping on Tinder. It was like a drug, feeding my hyperactive need to avoid boredom. And even though I’ve identified this pattern for years, I still fall into it. The difference now? I’m starting to forgive myself.

I’m done beating myself up. I’m doing my best. And sure, reading and writing might be healthier “medicine” for my mind, but sometimes, I don’t have the energy for it. Sometimes, social media is the medicine I need. Maybe if I stop framing it as something bad, I can appreciate my life more and lean into where it’s naturally pulling me.

As the year ends, I want to wish you a great New Year’s Eve. I hope these reflections spark something in you—a thought, an idea, or maybe just a reminder that we’re all in this messy process together. Let’s create an environment where we can grow the habits that help us reach our goals, step by step, side by side.